A year has passed with my beautiful daughter and after colic can no longer be the answer to this wild and crazy adventure, I have had a few minutes to myself to be able to research. Nothing fits better than Dr. Sears “High Needs Baby” http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050400.asp . Out of the 12 signs of a high needs baby…. Kymber fits…. TWELVE of them. While I look at parents whose babies sit in strollers,that take naps, that let another person hold them, that ride in cars without screaming, …. I wouldn’t change it for the world. My high needs baby has such a personality that lightens up everyone’s day when that “normal” baby sleeps it away or gets thrown into that “average” category!
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In response to Dr. Sears 12 signs of a High Needs Baby… Here are the 12 Positives to having a High Needs Baby
All of this fits her and my life now COMPLETELY!
1. High Needs Babies teach us to let go. Forget showering, forget me time, forget date nights, forget a clean house, forget movies, forget a clean home, forget warm meals, forget it all…. You finally learn to Let things go!
2. High Needs Babies let us practice selflessly serving another being. What is self?! You are the playground, the burp cloth, the baby carrier, the high chair, the swing, the mattress, the tummy mat, the walker…. Anything that other parents buy to pacify their babies…. YOU ARE THAT ITEM.. (don't stop rocking, walking or bouncing whatever you do!!)
3.High Needs Babies teach us creativity. How exactly will we get the dishes and laundry done with one hand? How will we solve nap time today? Will the baby sleep on you? On the floor? How will you manage to get that sleeping baby from your body to the floor? What will today bring and how can we make this work? What the heck is wrong and how do I fix it? Thought tying your shoes was hard with a baby bump? Thought that bump got in the way when trying to reach down in that deep wash machine to switch laundry? Thought it was hard to make the bed with that bump in front of you? How about that bump moving, wiggling, squirming, screaming, and spitting up all over you while you try to do these tasks!
4. High Needs Babies teach us that parenting isn’t something that can be taught. Everyone will have their opinions on how you should parent, they will give advice, they will make comments, and even blame you for the reason your baby is like this. I just remind myself that if they think that parenting is something that is the same for every child, then they could probably never handle what you go through every day with a high needs baby.
5. High Needs Babies teach us to be flexible. Think you can plan a playdate for every Friday? With a high needs baby that Friday play group might seem great up until 5 minutes before its time to leave and your whole day changes! Your plans are not set, you have an open, flexible schedule for whatever you and your high needs baby can handle that day.
6. High Needs Babies give us extra hours in the day. The first year of life with a high needs baby feels like it is so long because we've been awake nearly the WHOLE time so it’s equivalent to 2 years.
7. High Needs Babies teach us persistence. We never ever give up even when we've given up. We have no choice. Even when you are ready to throw in the towel and say “I CAN’T DO THIS ANY LONGER!!!!” you just cry with the baby and realize the baby is still there demanding you no matter what you are feeling.
8. High Needs Babies teach us about sharing. No, not learning to share materialistic items. That would be so much easier. What once used to be your space, your time, your shower, your meal time, your body is now …. Our space, our time, our shower, our meal time, our body. I would say our bed…. But I haven’t met my bed in a long time. I have been sleeping with Kymber in the recliner for 2 years, "sleeping" I mean, occasionally passing out for a bit in the recliner in between pacing the floor all night.
9. High Needs Babies teach us to include them in our world and acknowledge their individuality. They will not just sit quietly in a carrier. Or sleep quietly in another room. Or play quietly on the floor. And by including them in our world and constantly holding them in our arms we form an amazing bond as only those who have suffered through hardship can. These high needs babies have such a personality that stands out and the things they do you can really tell that they have been completely involved in others lives. They aren’t just left to sit in the swing or playpen or left on the floor to entertain themselves.
10. High Needs Babies make us strong. Physically, emotionally, mentally. While other moms are complaining because they can’t lose the weight… yours is long gone because your personal workout machine has made you lose that weight and gain muscle. Constantly in your arms, pacing the floor, bouncing them higher and higher, swinging them more than any baby swing could ever endure…. Your body is back to what it used to be!
11. High Needs Babies Teach us that things can wait. Thought you HAD to go to the store today? Thought you HAD to have dinner at 5:00pm? Thought you HAD to shower daily? Thought you HAD to have sleep? All those things can wait because there is someone else that needs you more than you need those things. Maybe the store will be tomorrow or even next week. Maybe the baby will eat at 5pm but you won’t eat until midnight. Maybe you will get lucky enough to have one real shower a week, the other days you may get to rinse off. Someday, with enough waiting…. Those things will all come back.
12. High Needs Babies teach us to pray. Didn’t think you knew how to pray? Didn’t think you knew how to talk to God? Nobody else is there while you are pacing the floors at night and God is the only one that would willingly take your call at 3am when all you want to do is cry and say “How do I do this?!” But …. when that prayer is over, you see that the next morning you have the strength to make it through another day and that God is there to listen to you every time without judgement. What’s even more important… your baby hears you speaking to God, something “average” babies are not included in because prayers are usually said in private, after the kids are in bed, or never at all.
